Stop holding yourself back and start failing

Twice in the last 3 months, I’ve pushed myself physically and mentally to complete a very tough ropes course as part of a leadership programme run by the Coaches Training Institute.

What I’ve learned in the process is that attitude is everything and failure is essential. When I let go of “I can’t” or “it might hurt me”, I can achieve the seemingly impossible.

The words “I can” and “I can’t” are prevalent in every day use. We learn as children and continue to learn as adults what we can and can’t do. Or so we think. The problem is that as adults, we start to limit the opportunities we have available to us by believing that “we can’t”.

It prevents us from trying something new because we believe we can’t do it or because when we tried it once before it didn’t work. But things change. Circumstances change. Our physical and mental capabilities are always evolving… if we allow them to. There is no need to hold ourselves back any more.

What self-limiting beliefs are holding you back?

Children continue to push the boundaries on a daily basis and that enables them to achieve things that the year or month or day before, they were unable to do. Like a toddler who learns to walk by continually falling over until through sheer determination and persistance, they eventually find themselves running.

They keep trying until they succeed. Any failure along the way is part of the learning process. It helps them find the way that eventually works for them.

Where are you holding yourself back, physically or mentally?

What failure are you avoiding and what impact is that having on you achieving your potential?

On the ropes course I fell a number of times. Each time I fell I thought: “Damn it. I had more in me.” I was frustrated by the failure  initially because it’s uncomfortable. When I opened myself up to seeing that failure is part of the process, it allowed me to reach for more each time, knowing that my best is good enough. Every time. As long as I gave 100%, there was no shame in failing. And the learning associated with that failing allowed me to reach inside for a bit more each time. Until I found I was achieving way beyond what I believed I was capable of because the failures enabled me to learn and improve each time.

So stop holding yourself back. Stop being paralysed by fear. Start failing and learning. One step at a time. Allow yourself to evolve to your highest potential and allow the failures along the way. The world needs you to be your best and that can only happen when you learn to fail.

Putting it into practice

1. Identify an area where you are stuck or hold yourself back.
2. What self-limiting belief are you hanging onto? What failure are you trying to avoid?
3. If you let go of the self-limiting belief and the fear of failure, what one small step will enable you to move towards the end goal?
4. Take that one step. Stop and reflect. Learn from any failure.
5. Try again. Keep going.
6. Post your comments on your successes and failures below.

With love,
Jude. x

You can read more about the impact that the CTI Leadership course had on me in a previous post on Authentic Leadership.

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