Speaking your truth
By
What’s your relationship with the truth?
I was asked that a few months ago. My immediate reaction was to say that I always speak the truth, that honesty and integrity are important. Blah blah blah. You can guess the rest. You probably say it yourself.
And at the same time, I realised I had some resistance to the question. So I’ve been looking at the truth and how I live my life. And I’ve been living a lie. Of course there are lies and there are lies. I like to justify how I’ve been. No doubt you will too.
Because this is the painful truth. The hard truth. The sort of truth that freedom brings. It’s not easy.
Speaking your truth means saying what you think. It means saying no when you don’t want to do something. Without having to justify it. No I don’t want to come to your party. Instead of, well I would but I have to do blah blah blah…. and out come all the excuses in the world which aren’t really true.
I’m suggesting that perhaps there are times when you hold back from sharing your opinion because it is not the popular opinion or because you fear the impact. Perhaps you are afraid of being ridiculed, misunderstood, controversial. Perhaps you are afraid of rejection.
Perhaps you want to be liked so you don’t want to rock the boat. So you deny yourself the ability to go against the tide. You deny yourself the ability to be individual, wise. You hide away that new perspective from yourself and from others.
You’re not being a leader.
Leaders lead. That means they go first and others follow. It can be challenging to be first, to go out on a limb and not know whether you will fall.
How truthful are you about yourself? Do you beat yourself up when you get things wrong? Do you judge yourself harshly? Perhaps you are even afraid to think the truth.
More recently, I’ve been speaking my truth. And yet I know I am still holding back in some areas. I’m stepping out more and saying things I never used to say, learning to disagree. In a gentle, confident, unattached way. More from a place of wanting to love and connect with the person. Wanting them to understand me and wanting to understand them.
And surprise surprise, people welcome it. The truth provides an opportunity for greater intimacy and connection. Conversations become real. And rich. Deep and meaningful. From the heart. Powerful and with impact.
Where do you hold back from speaking your truth?
What is not being said?
Putting it into practice
- Notice where you hold back. How do you know when you are holding back? You probably feel a physical sensation somewhere in your body.
- Breathe into that sensation. What do you want to say?
- What is stopping you from saying it?
- Let go of trying to look good and allow yourself to connect through the truth.
Speak your truth. Connect with love.
Jude. x
Related posts:
2 Comments
August 28th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Great thoughts, Jude! I think hearing the truth is just as important as speaking it. Hearing something about yourself that is painful to accept often comes along with significant opportunity for growth. I don’t like criticism any more than anyone else, but when it’s genuine, I’ve come to be very appreciative of it.
September 6th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
You’re spot on Vin. It’s important to be open to hearing the truth as well. And when we are open to the truth within ourselves, then hearing it from others is less likely to come as a surprise. When we are truly aware of who we are, we are being true to ourselves and there is such a depth of learning to be had from that.