Review of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

I don’t usually review books in my blog so this is a first for me. I was having writer’s block this week until I read an excellent blog post by Jan Geronimo of Writing to exhale about how reading broadens the mind.

So with that in mind, I decided to write a review of an excellent book which I’ve read recently. It’s one of the simplest personal development and leadership books I’ve ever read and yet the impact of it is profound. I highly recommend everyone to read it and apply its principles.

In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz explores how we are domesticated by our everyday lives and how adopting the Four Agreements can transform our lives completely. These are the four agreements that he recommends we apply to transform our lives:

1. Be impeccable with your word. Your thoughts and feelings are all words. If you are impeccable with your word, you will use your thoughts and words with good intention both towards yourself and towards others.  You will believe the best in you and in others and  negativity will not affect you.

Being impeccable  also means speaking the truth and speaking with love and compassion. It means not gossiping about people and not judging anyone (especially yourself). Many people love to gossip, especially about people they don’t know. Gossip is pure opinion and is not founded in truth. Often it hurts people. Know the difference between the truth and gossip and only speak the truth, with love and compassion.

2. Don’t take anything personally. Oh I love this. When someone expresses their opinion, it is just that… an opinion. Not the truth. It means that if someone else judges you, you can let it go, knowing it says more about them than it does about you. They are projecting their own reality onto you. Let them keep it. You do not need to be the victim of endless suffering by taking on everything that is thrown at you.

3. Don’t make assumptions. We are assumption machines. We have to make assumptions all day in order to make decisions. E.g. I assume there will be hot water in the shower in the morning so I can jump straight in. Where assumptions become more dangerous is when we start to believe that they are actually true.

When we make assumptions and take things personally, then we start to distance ourselves from others for fear of being hurt. It causes us to separate and break connections. We assume someone doesn’t like us so we keep our distance. Love is lost. You can counteract this by being curious about everyone and everything. Ask questions. Test out your assumptions. They are the stories that you make up about people and things. Assumptions are not the truth.

4. Always do your best. Perhaps you were told that as a child. Yet as adults, we often berate ourselves for not doing enough, not achieving something or saying the wrong thing. When we are unwell or tired, our best is less than when we are on top of everything.

As long as we are doing our best, our best is good enough! That means, you do what you can in the time available with the resources available. Making mistakes is fine if you are doing your best. When  you believe that you are doing your best, then there is no place for self-judgment and you set yourself free.

Four very simple agreements. Easy to read. Much harder to put into practice. Yet when you combine them with each other, they become extremely powerful. We create our own reality by our thoughts and feelings. Each thought and feeling is a choice.

In summary, Don Miguel Ruiz says: “We have a choice… to suffer, or to love and be happy.”

What will you choose?

With love,
Jude. x

Related posts:

1. Speaking your truth