Releasing the fears that bind us
By
Fear constrains us and holds us back in life.
You only need to watch a rabbit in headlights to know how fear can sometimes cause us to do things that don’t serve us.
Fear paralyses us. It makes us play small. It makes us show up inauthentically. It makes us say and do things that we don’t really mean.
Our fears bind us so tightly that we often dare not admit them even to ourselves. We even convince ourselves that we are not afraid. We convince ourselves that we don’t have a choice… even though we always do.
Fear keeps us doing the same job even when we don’t enjoy it. It keeps us believing that we have to continue to earn the same amount of money, even though it is not making us happy. It stops us from stepping out of our comfort zone and really living the life that we know we can live.
Most people don’t even know what their fears are. They don’t realise that these fears are actually running their lives or they make excuses about not really wanting to do something anyway.
What is your fear?
Where is it holding you back from living the life you want?
For a long time, I was paralysed by fear. The personal transformation I’ve been going through and the major changes I’ve been making in my life have left me breathless and often paralysed by fear. There is a desire to go back to what is known. To do what I’ve done before… because I know I can. It feels safe. Comfortable. Even when it is actually uncomfortable.
So recently, I’ve been facing my fears, being much more bold. Taking risks. I know I am truly living when I step into the face of fear and I do it anyway. Not knowing where I am going, not knowing if I can do what I want to do and trusting that I am doing it with good intentions and a willingness to learn from the experience. I’m willing to fail and of course I want to succeed.
And with each thing I do, the fear falls away as I realise that it was not so scary after all and I realise that I have more inner strength to do even more next time. And every time I fail, it’s smaller than I ever thought it might be and the learning is so great that it more than makes up for it.
So now, when I’m not sure if I want to do something, I ask myself if fear is standing in the way and if it is, I do it anyway. Which is why I am now writing a book, running workshops in countries all over Europe with co-leaders I’ve never worked with before, presenting at a coaching conference in March, doing a physical challenge (more of that on my Coniston Challenge Blog), challenging my local village to reconsider the way we build social community and running an outdoor networking group at work, despite everyone thinking it’s a crazy idea.
You see, fear held me back on all of these things… once I accepted that fear was present and took the power back into my core, I was able to make the decision without fear’s influence. Then things started to happen!
Putting it into practice
- What do you want to do but are afraid to do?
- Know that whatever happens, you can handle it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I can handle it”.
- Find one small thing that you are afraid to do and do it. It will give you the confidence to do more next time.
- Share your experiences below.
Name your fears and let them go. Start making decisions consciously, in service of you living a life of fulfilment. It’s easier than you might think…. and it’s challenging too. What a wonderful paradox that is!
With love,
Jude. x
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