Learning new behaviours


books1I failed last week. I tried to solve a problem and it didn’t work. Someone jokingly said it was because I used logic. Funny that. Logical left-brain thinking is not my natural style and yet after 15 years of working for a global IT corporation, it had become a learned behaviour.

Then it got me thinking…. What else do I do as a result of learned behaviour that no longer serves me?

Some psychologists say that by four years of age, we’ve learned our natural responses to every situation. That means that we are repeating the same patterns of behaviour decades later in the board room. Imagine that for a minute. Perhaps you throw your toys out of the pram when things don’t go your way in a similar way to the way you did when you were 4 years old!

What behaviour is no longer serving you?

What would serve you now?

When I did my coaching training, I was taught to use my intuition again. And I discovered that it was a natural style for me. It was something that I had hidden away for 15 years because the logical left-brained IT world didn’t really understand it. And they didn’t understand me when I used it. So I learned to use a logical style to fit in with the team.

Now as a coach, I get to use all my skills – both the learned behaviours and the natural styles. The key thing is flexibility and being open to trial and error. It’s important to continue to re-learn and re-evaluate every day of our lives. When we are open to learning, we can find new ways of doing things and new behaviours that serve us better. If the current way is not working, then it’s time for a change.

Perhaps we can apply that to our economic situation too. Perhaps it’s time for change in business. Perhaps that change starts with you.

What change will you make to serve you and the world better?

Putting it into practice

  1. Identify a situation that is not working for you.
  2. How do you want it to be?
  3. What change will you make?
  4. Share the changes you make and the impact they have by posting them in the comments below.

With love,
Jude. x

Tell us what you think


  1. Vin |
    Vin | NaturalBias.com05-27-2009

    Great point Jude! It’s inevitable that we’ll adopt certain behaviors based on our surroundings, particularly as children. These behaviors, no matter how small, consistently accumulate into decisions and actions that significantly affect our lives. Based on this, I completely agree that it’s important to pay attention to your behaviors and regularly assess if they’re congruent with your values and goals.

  2. Bud Hennekes
    Bud Hennekes06-01-2009

    Wonderful post! We often think that we are completely free to choose what we believe however social conditioning has a substantial impact on the person we are today.

    It is essential that we take the time and consciously choose our beliefs.

    The truly successful individuals constantly adapt and make corrections.

    Vin, couldn’t have said it any better “Based on this, I completely agree that it’s important to pay attention to your behaviors and regularly assess if they’re congruent with your values and goals.”

    I think you would enjoy this video,

    Are we in control of our decisions?

    Again great post :)

  3. Jude

    @Vin,thanks for your comment and keep an eye out for a post coming soon on Values, understanding them and how we can use them to make choices that work for us.

    @Bud, you make a really important point about consciously choosing. Many of us go blindly through life making the same choices day in and day out, believing we have no alternative. We always have a choice. Always. I’ll do a post on this in the coming weeks too.

    Thanks to you both for your comments.

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