I recently upset a couple of people. I spoke my truth. I spoke with honesty and integrity and love. I was asking to be respected. Instead of connecting with them at a deeper level, they withdrew and remain withdrawn.

In the past, I would have found this really difficult. I’d have spent a lot of time chasing after them, trying to put things right.

This time, I’ve made my position clear and invited them to have a call with me to discuss. No response. This feels a lot like a rejection. And yet, I know it is not personal. I know it is a reflection of where they are right now.

Wow. This is actually a big relief for me. To allow someone to withdraw because they choose to withdraw and to allow it to happen.

It feels like a gift. Because, now I’ve set my self free. In accepting the rejection (feels like a strong word for what may be a temporary withdrawing), I’m letting go of the fear of being rejected. That gives me such freedom. It helps me push through any prevarication that I previously had with difficult decisions.

I realise how much I live my life being driven by the fear of rejection. I realise that I try to please people, I try not to upset them. I try to do the right thing. But what does that even mean? The right thing is different for everyone of us. How exhausting to try and please everyone! It’s impossible anyway.

So in the process, up until now, that has sometimes meant that I’ve been so careful about how I word things that sometimes my own wants and needs have gone unspoken. It has also meant that I’ve not always been as bold as I’d like to be. I sometimes play it cautiously in my business and personal life. I consider so carefully whether people will like what I have to offer, that I delay putting it out there.

Now, I feel free to try new things, to dare to fail more. I dare make mistakes and risk being rejected. Because the real truth is… that the people who really love me will not reject me for saying something that they might not want to hear or for suggesting they do something that they don’t want to do. The people who really love me are more likely to come back and reconnect. Engage and discuss. Create from each other until we are united.

And in terms of my business, there will always be rejection after rejection. No after No. And it’s not personal. It just means, I’m not right for those people who say No.

So now, I’m stepping deeper into my authenticity. Daring to do what feels right to me, daring to say what feels right. Knowing that I come from a position of love and compassion for everyone, even when they might not want to hear what I say. And knowing that not everyone out there will get me or my business. Not everyone will understand what I bring.

That’s liberating. It’s expanding the possibilities. It means I can be fully me, saying and doing things I’ve never dared to do and say before, trusting that those who want to connect with me actually will… when they choose to.

Where are you holding back?

What is the fear of rejection stopping you from saying or doing?

Putting it into practice

1. Consider where you hold back for fear of rejection.
2. What do you really want to say or do?
3. Say or do waht you want to say or do, from a place of love and compassion for all parties.
4. Do let me know how you get on.

Be bold. Set yourself free.

With love,
Jude. x

Related posts:

1. Step into freedom
2. 12 lessons in leadership from 2009
3. Speaking your truth