We choose our perspectives. We don’t always realise it and we are still choosing.

When we make a mistake, we can choose to see it as an opportunity for future growth and personal development or we can choose to see it as a failure. I have to remember that because it’s easy to forget.

I had my first singing lesson yesterday. I was a bit nervous because I’d never sung in front of anyone before. My teacher recorded my voice so I could take the recording away and listen to it and learn from it. When I listen back to me singing, I hear all the tuning errors (there were more than I thought there would be!!!). I hear all the things that I do with my voice that I don’t want to do.

In my head, I know how I want it to sound and it’s not like it actually sounds! It’s really easy to be critical. I could easily say it sounded terrible. Yet this is not a persepctive that serves me well. It’s the perspective that is most likely to make me want to give up.

Instead, I’m choosing another perspective…. in fact, several perspectives.

The first perspective is enjoyment and fun. I really enjoyed myself and had fun. From this perspective, it doesn’t really matter whether I sing in tune or not. The point is that I went along, sang and really enjoyed myself. It was so much fun. That makes me want to go back and try again. It’s a perspective that means the end result is not that important. I’m not planning to release an album or anything so as long as I have fun and my teacher doesn’t fire me, then why not go back and continue to have fun? That feels so liberating.

My second perspective is learning and growth. I’m just starting and have a lot to learn and I’m excited about where I’m going with this new journey.  I heard that I have a good tone, with some colour and opportunity to develop it much more. It’s a perspective that means there is more out there for me. That feels really empowering, like it’s opening up the possibilities. That anything (and nothing) is possible. It is whatever it is. The focus is on the growth and the journey.

My third perspective is liberation from failure. I was more confident that I expected to be; I was more willing to make a mess of it than I normally am in other situations. This feels like I’m growing in different ways. In fact, maybe that’s my first lesson…. not to improve my singing but to let go of needing to be good at something. Now that’s liberating. To just enjoy the experience and not have to achieve anything. No goal. Just pure pleasure.

Those 3 perspectives serve me so much better. Now I feel empowered, liberated, excited, open to having pure simple fun for no other reason than the simple pleasure of it.  How much more empowering that is than the original  (albeit very brief) perspective of: “that was terrible, I might as well give up”  which just feels draining and pointless.

So for now, I’m happily singing out of tune. I’m having fun. I hope to improve. I’m sure I can. I’m trusting that I will. I’m excited about my next lesson. More than that, I’m busting through an old pattern of behaviour that used to have me focussing on my failures. Now I’m choosing a different perspective… one that serves me much better, one that opens up my world. How liberating that is.

What perspective is no longer serving you?

What perspective would you like to have?

Putting it into practice

1. Consider where you beat yourself up.
2. What perspective do you have about that situation?
3. What other perspective would serve you better?
4. Do let me know how you get on by sharing your comments.

If you want to know more about perspectives and how they can help bust through old patterns of behaviour and ways of thinking, feel free to contact me to discuss.

With love,
Jude. x

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