Right click on the link below to open the music that inspired this article:

Music of the night from Phantom of the Opera

Last weekend, I was assisting on a coaching course. One of the main topics covered was to explore the things we don’t like about ourselves and face up to them. We spend extraordinary amounts of energy avoiding things we don’t like.

For me, I don’t like anger and I don’t like to be insecure or unsafe. This means I spend a lot of energy avoiding anger both in myself and in others and I’ll do anything to avoid conflict. The amount of time and energy this takes up is incredible. I also go to great lengths to be safe in many ways. I seek financial security, job security, security in relationships and so on. Trying to avoid being unsafe means I reduce the choices available to me.

What do you go to great lengths to avoid?

What is the impact on your life?

As the song say:
“Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams
Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar
And you’ll live as you’ve never lived before …”

On the course, the participants confronted their darkest fears and experienced them, knowing that there was much to be gained from understanding what is at the heart of them. In confronting these fears head on, they experienced their own resourcefulness and ability to deal with whatever came up. I know I can cope with anger when it arises so why not accept it and deal with it at the time instead of wasting so much time and energy avoiding it. It seems so obvious.

If you are not sure what you are avoiding, take a look at the habits you see in others that you don’t like. Often, we deflect onto others the things we can’t be with in ourselves.

What is the behaviour other people display that you can’t be with?

Where in your life do you behave in that way? What do you do to avoid it?

“Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before
Let your soul take you where you long to be”

When we stop running away from ourselves, we are able to experience every moment of our lives. Only then will we be truly free to lead a fulfilling life.

“Let your dream begin, let your darker side give in…”

With love,
Jude. x

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