Are you colluding with negativity?

Sharing stories brings about a sense of belonging. A sense of community.

The British like to moan about the weather. On the face of it, it seems pretty harmless. We moan about the summer being terrible and complain that it’s rained a lot. Then we moan when it’s sunny because we’re too hot and feel too lethargic to do anything. There’s a sense of shared community in the moaning.

At work, when people ask, how are you? The standard response is: “Really busy, it’s manic at the moment.” Then people go on to share stories of how bad it is, how many hours they have to work and how busy they are.

There’s a sense of doom and gloom, almost a competitiveness about  who has the worst job or works the longest hours. It can be depressing and it’s a downward spiral.

If you are one of the majority of the population doing this, you’re colluding with negativity. You are gaining your sense of belonging by engaging in negativity.  

Gossip is the worst form of negative collusion. You know how it goes. Someone says something about someone and before you know it, everyone is adding stories.  Invariably they’re not intended to hurt anyone and yet they are still negative. It’s based on misunderstanding, being critical of others, not seeing them as human beings. Imagine how you would feel being on the receiving end of that.

Perhaps you collude with yourself. You believe that you can’t change your circumstances, that you are being “done to”, that it’s beyond your control.  You believe that you are stuck and that there’s nothing that you can do. So you allow yourself to look at things negatively and continue to complain and be unhappy. You remain static. Stuck in negativity.

The circumstances might be beyond your control. How you respond to them is absolutely within your control. In my article on 5 ways to love the job you hate, I explore ways for making the best out of a bad situation.

Where do you collude with negativity?

What happens when you generate positivity instead?

You have a choice. A choice to collude with negativity or a choice to turn your conversation into something positive. Forget trying to belong to the miserable club. Start looking for the good in everything. It’s much more enjoyable and much more motivating.

Putting it into practice

1. Notice when the conversation is negative.
2. Consider a positive benefit from what is being discussed and express that point of view. Start with “The good thing about …  is that …”
3. Notice the impact and post your tips below for turning negative collusion into one of positive collusion.

Be a leader. Change the conversation. Start with your internal dialogue.

With love,
Jude. x

Related posts:

1. Is the energy you put out creating the impact you want?