Who am I as a leader?

What is the impact I want to have?

These are challenging questions. Challenging because it is questioning my fundamental purpose in life, my fundamental role as a leader. Challenging because in asking these questions, I realise that who I am as a leader is not always who other people want me to be.

Martin Luther King, Edward Kennedy, Nelson Mandela, Bob Geldof, Bono. These people are inspirational leaders. They were visionary. They challenged the status quo. They upset people along the way and they carried on because they knew that what they were fighting for was important… to them and the world.

And they inspire me. Oh they really do. They inspire me to know that I can be fallible, that I can have faults, make mistakes and that I can trust enough in myself and what I am doing to carry on.

I am currently leading four new projects (I call them leader quests):

1. A physical challenge quest to improve my own health and fitness – you can read more about this at my Coniston Challenge blog
2. An outdoor network to get people in business in the fresh air to improve their health and wellbeing and increase their productivity
3. A community quest to build a vibrant community spirit in my local village
4. A World Wise Leadership quest which involves collaborating with 2 other leaders to take the wisdom of the world and share it across cultures, through a video documentary, a book and workshops.

More on all of these in future posts. The key thing is that I’ve been considering who I am as a leader in those quests and the impact I want to have. I’ve realised that as a leader, I challenge the status quo; I challenge limiting beliefs – my own and others; I stretch beyond my comfort zone for the sake of making a difference in the world and I challenge others to do the same.

At my best, I’m a visionary. I’m bold. I wake myself and others up to being extraordinary. I want us to achieve our highest potential. I really want people to see that there are other ways of being in the world, other ways of seeing things and that when we step out of our comfort zone, we really can achieve extraordinary things – things that everyone believes are impossible. I am a leader with a huge heart, I love unconditionally. I am totally committed, connected and laser sharp. I’m a free spirit and playful. I’m serious too.

My impact is that I raise people’s consciousness to a higher level. I wake people up. I inspire them to be authentic and motivate them to reach out for more. I enable them to connect with their own true nature and to connect with others too.

Through my coaching and leadership work, I empower people to set themelves free of constraints and show up authentically, letting go of fears and limiting beliefs. I inspire people to step up to being a leader in their lives because it’s important and because the world needs us to be ourselves, to bring all of ourselves. The world needs us to show up.

And there is a price to be paid in all of this because I don’t always have the impact that I want to have. Sometimes people get scared and reject me or run away because sometimes being challenged and raising our consciousness is frightening too.

Someone recently spoke to me of an artist who explained how he brought all of himself to his painting and the way the brush moved on the canvas was so precise and exactly where he wanted it and the way he wanted it.

He realised that he needed to bring all of himself into his work in order to produce his best paintings. He also realised that not everyone would love his paintings and that’s the price he paid for being colourful.

That’s the impact we can have when we are at our best. We are bright and colourful. Some will love our painting and others will not. And yet if we keep our true selves hidden, afraid to bring all of ourselves into the world, we end up with a blank canvas that is not really expressing us and that nobody wants to see.

What colour are you as a leader?

What impact do you want to have?

Putting it into practice

1. Consider who are you as a leader.
2. Consider the impact you want to have.
3. What is the price that you have to pay?

I urge you to consider these questions. They are challenging. It’s up to us to paint our own canvas in the way that is authentic for each of us, knowing that not everyone will like the colours that we paint.

Be colourful. Paint your canvas. Be uniquely you, the way that only you can be.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Who are you as a leader and what is your impact?

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When we make a mistake, we can choose to see it as an opportunity for future growth and personal development or we can choose to see it as a failure. I have to remember that because it’s easy to forget.

I had my first singing lesson yesterday. I was a bit nervous because I’d never sung in front of anyone before. My teacher recorded my voice so I could take the recording away and listen to it and learn from it. When I listen back to me singing, I hear all the tuning errors (there were more than I thought there would be!!!). I hear all the things that I do with my voice that I don’t want to do.

In my head, I know how I want it to sound and it’s not like it actually sounds! It’s really easy to be critical. I could easily say it sounded terrible. Yet this is not a persepctive that serves me well. It’s the perspective that is most likely to make me want to give up.

Instead, I’m choosing another perspective…. in fact, several perspectives.

The first perspective is enjoyment and fun. I really enjoyed myself and had fun. From this perspective, it doesn’t really matter whether I sing in tune or not. The point is that I went along, sang and really enjoyed myself. It was so much fun. That makes me want to go back and try again. It’s a perspective that means the end result is not that important. I’m not planning to release an album or anything so as long as I have fun and my teacher doesn’t fire me, then why not go back and continue to have fun? That feels so liberating.

My second perspective is learning and growth. I’m just starting and have a lot to learn and I’m excited about where I’m going with this new journey.  I heard that I have a good tone, with some colour and opportunity to develop it much more. It’s a perspective that means there is more out there for me. That feels really empowering, like it’s opening up the possibilities. That anything (and nothing) is possible. It is whatever it is. The focus is on the growth and the journey.

My third perspective is liberation from failure. I was more confident that I expected to be; I was more willing to make a mess of it than I normally am in other situations. This feels like I’m growing in different ways. In fact, maybe that’s my first lesson…. not to improve my singing but to let go of needing to be good at something. Now that’s liberating. To just enjoy the experience and not have to achieve anything. No goal. Just pure pleasure.

Those 3 perspectives serve me so much better. Now I feel empowered, liberated, excited, open to having pure simple fun for no other reason than the simple pleasure of it.  How much more empowering that is than the original  (albeit very brief) perspective of: “that was terrible, I might as well give up”  which just feels draining and pointless.

So for now, I’m happily singing out of tune. I’m having fun. I hope to improve. I’m sure I can. I’m trusting that I will. I’m excited about my next lesson. More than that, I’m busting through an old pattern of behaviour that used to have me focussing on my failures. Now I’m choosing a different perspective… one that serves me much better, one that opens up my world. How liberating that is.

What perspective is no longer serving you?

What perspective would you like to have?

Putting it into practice

1. Consider where you beat yourself up.
2. What perspective do you have about that situation?
3. What other perspective would serve you better?
4. Do let me know how you get on by sharing your comments.

If you want to know more about perspectives and how they can help bust through old patterns of behaviour and ways of thinking, feel free to contact me to discuss.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Exploring different perspectives

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It has helped me navigate important decisions and know whether I am really living the life I want to live or the one that I think I should be living because everyone else thinks it’s right.

Which life are you living?

The life that fulfils you or the life you think you should be living?

As part of the year long Co-active Leadership programme I am doing, I’ve refined my life purpose statement. More than that, I am now creating actions that align with it. It’s one thing to have a life purpose. It’s another to actually live it every day of my life.

I am passionate about people understanding their inner selves and finding their true nature. I am passionate about building harmonious relationships and we do that when we connect with the nature of others and really understand them. And I’m passionate about the glory of the planet we live on, the diversity of the landscape, animals and nature, mountains and valleys, rough seas and calm pools, rushing rivers and gentle streams.

Nature represents the diversity in life. I love to travel and experience the amazing planet we live on. I love meeting people and discovering that although we have varied and interesting cultures, languages and behaviours, we are fundamentally the same. We are all human. We are all breathing in and out, all exchanging energy. We are all one.

So my life purpose is to connect people with nature – their own true nature, the nature of others (i.e. relationships) and the  glory of the natural world that we live in.

And for the first time in my life, I now have a business plan that involves doing just this. I plan to get people in business out in the fresh air,connecting with nature, their own true nature and connecting with the nature of others. Enhancing their wellbeing, their productivity, building community and being in harmony with our environment. I know this is just the beginning and I’m excited about the ride ahead. I hope you’ll join me along the way as I navigate the ups and downs of living my life purpose.

What’s your life purpose?

What is the essence of you?

When you know the essence of you, you can step into being more authentic, bringing more of you into the world, including your work life as well as your personal life. That’s compelling. And when you find your passion and really live it, you’re compelling.

Putting it into practice

1. If you have a life purpose statement already, consider how you are living your life in alignment with it. Make one small change today that will start to move you closer towards it.
2. If you don’t already have a life purpose, consider working with a coach to define one. Or try googling “life purpose”. There are plenty of free resources out there to get you started.

If you want help defining your life purpose, contact me for a special 45 mins Life Purpose coaching session.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Living according to my life’s purpose

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By this, I mean that I acknowledge my clients for how they show up in the world, the things they do and the impact they have on the world.

This is often uncomfortable for people the first time they experience it. After all, they are used to being told how to improve rather than how amazing they are!

At school, we focus on how children can do better, what they have yet to learn. We might tell them when they do something that is good like play the piano or score a goal in football. We rarely tell them that they are smart or beautiful or funny or happy, etc. If children say how good they are at something, they are told not to boast, not to brag.  We’re not allowed to show other people how good we are at anything.

As adults in business, appraisals are intended to motivate employees. Too often they focus on where we can improve, how we can do a better job. I believe this is disempowering and causes us to focus on the negative things.

We forget how amazing we are!

One of the most difficult things to do is to think about ourselves positively. To say, I’m good at coaching. I’m funny. I’m eccentric. I’m playful. I’m intelligent. I’m honest. I’m a good friend. I’m loyal. And I’m squirming as I write those things! I absolutely know they are true for me and still it’s difficult to acknowledge them.

How well do people know you?

How much are you hiding your amazingness?

When we realise how amazing we are, our self-esteem improves. That allows us to release the constraints that hold us back and step into our full authenticity. The impact on ourselves and the world around us is so much greater.

Putting it into practice

1. Write 2 sides of A4 (letter) paper of adjectives that describe you. Use only positive words.
2. Celebrate your amazingness!
3. Share 3 amazing things about you in the comments below… go on! Give it a go!

Know how amazing you are. Own it. Be it. Stop hiding your amazingness. The world needs you. Just as you are. No more. No less.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Do you know how amazing you are?

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The coaching training I have had and the leadership development that I continue to engage in is important. It provides a new way of being in the world. A new way that is desperately needed.

What is the Coaching Cafe?

The idea of the Coaching Cafe is to bring together small groups of people in an informal supportive environment where they can meet new people, learn something about themselves and support each other. An environment where people can share ideas and experiences and take something back into their lives that enables them to be different and have a different impact.

It’s about leading from the heart and soul, connecting with others, loving them, wanting the best for them, collaborating together, nurturing and supporting one another. For the benefit of the individual, the community and the world we live in. 

Being vulnerable

Coaching can be a vulnerable profession. It requires me as the coach to stick my neck on the line for the sake of the client becoming who they can be at their best.

The Coaching Cafe took my vulnerability to a new level. I had no idea if my concept would work. I engaged four trial clients and I stepped into being vulnerable. No protection. They did the same. They opened up with honesty and learned something about themselves.

In an hour and a half, they gained insights into who they are and how they operate. They learned things about themselves that make them better equipped to make decisions from the heart. Decisions that honour their values. Decisions that will make their heart sing.

A new world

That’s what I want for the world. I want you to have joy in your heart. Deep joy. From a deep place within you. I want you to connect with your true nature; I want you to connect with our beautiful planet and recognise how glorious our natural world is. I want you to cherish it and nurture it for future generations to come.

It’s a new way of being. Less doing. More being. More about how we show up in the world. And I realise that this is a vulnerable place for me because it’s so important. I’m opening myself up completely saying: “Here I am, this is what I stand for. Come with me.”

I was good at my corporate job. Highly respected. Rewarded well. Now I’m being me, it’s personal. I’ve let go of the job title and the role I was playing.. I can no longer hide behind the armour of the job.  Now it’s my heart and soul that are being put on the line. Failure seems not to be an option and yet it is inevitable. More than that. It’s essential. So that I can learn from it and move forward.

I realise that the more vulnerable I am, the more I give to the world and the people in it. The more I can be who I really am and have the impact I want to have. Leaders need to be vulnerable. To not know the path and dare to create a new one. To ask for help along the way. To collaborate with others to get there. To want to succeed and be willing to fail.

One step at a time

The Coaching Cafe was a major milestone. I’m so grateful to the four women who came along to the pilot session, who shared the moment of my major milestone with me, who supported my vulnerability and opened up their own vulnerability. For the sake of my learning and theirs.

What’s the impact you want to have on the world?

Who do you need to be to have that impact?

What do you need to let go of?

I look forward to more major milestones and putting my heart on the line for the sake of the world we live in. One step at a time. I hope you will join me.

With love,
Jude. x

Thanks also to 7 Square in Warwick who looked after us beautifully and provided a great space for the Coaching Cafe.

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Vulnerable leaders and a major milestone

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If we want to know about curiosity, we only need to look at a cat. They are naturally curious. They spend their entire lives asking questions and have a confidence in asking questions that we can learn from. 

When I watch my cat, I wonder: What is important to him? What compels him to be curious? What does he value most in life? What does he like about hunting? How much sleep is the optimum for him?

These are curious questions. There are no right or wrong answers. When I ask these questions, I start to gain a deeper understanding of my cat, who he is, what’s important to him, what motivates him. I could ask similar questions to anyone and everyone would have a different answer. Each answer would be the right answer for that person.

Typically we ask questions to extract information that we can then use to our own benefit, e.g. what time will you be home? How long will that job take? Being curious means asking questions for the sake of learning something much deeper and for the sake of understanding the other person, e.g. what’s important to you about that? What do you value most in life? What empowers you? What do you enjoy most?

Putting it into practice:

1. Be curious about yourself. What do you value? What empowers you? What types of people energise you? What brings you alive?
2. Be curious about a colleague or friend. Listen carefully when they speak and consider what they value, what empowers them. How does that help you understand them more?

What’s the impact of your curiosity?

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

The confidence to ask curious questions

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Celebrate Good Times by Kool and the Gang

Eight years ago, I broke 9 ribs and my shoulder blade in a horse-riding accident and my back will never be the same. Last week, it flared up again and I immediately felt frustrated, focussing on what I couldn’t do. However, I was able to take my dog for a short walk in the sunshine and as we walked across the fields, this song came to me from nowhere.

“Let’s celebrate, it’s all right”

Immediately, I felt grateful for still being able to walk the dog and I had a spring in my step. I focussed on what I had instead of what I have lost. I chose to stand in a different perspective… the perspective of celebration.

What can you celebrate today?

One of the things I notice about working for a large corporation is that we often focus on improving things – be it personal development, transforming the business, increasing sales, reducing cost. When the targets are met, we get “thank you and we must do more”. It can become exhausting.

It’s easy to overlook what we have – our health, our jobs, our colleagues, our family and friends. We often take the most important things for granted and most of us diminish our own achievements.

When my coaching clients succeed at something, I ask them how they are going to celebrate. The first time I ask this, most of them are surprised. It’s not something they normally do.

“Celebrate good times, Come on!”

There are so many different ways to celebrate. The important thing is to do something for yourself that is a pleasure, not a chore. Some examples are cook a meal for friends or a loved one, do a cartwheel, have a relaxing bath with candles, go for a walk, tell someone you love them, sing, dance, listen to your favourite music, buy some new shoes, go out for a meal…. There are so many ways to celebrate and so many reasons to do it.

What are you going to celebrate this week and how will you do it?

What difference does that make to you and those around you?

Enjoy your week of celebration

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Time to celebrate

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A few days later, I was sitting waiting to co-lead my first workshop on values-based leadership when I heard this song playing.

Something inside so strong by Labi Siffre

My ear immediately tuned into “the higher you build your barriers” because that’s what I’d been exploring earlier in the week. Hiding behind barriers is easy to do and yet there I was waiting to run a workshop which required me to open up and be vulnerable.

“Something inside so strong, I know that I can make it”

Somehow these words reminded me to be myself, to be bold, courageous and vulnerable all at the same time. I co-led the workshop from a place of full authenticity. I bared my soul to the room; I dared to fail spectacularly, to look like an idiot, to be rejected and instead I gained only love and understanding from the group.

When you have the courage to be vulnerable, what is available to you?

What do you gain when you let your barriers down?

When we keep personal barriers up to protect ourselves, we keep other people out and risk being misunderstood by those around us. That can lead to conflict and disharmony.

“Something inside so strong” was written by Labi Siffre as an anti-Apartheid anthem. I feel strongly about world peace. I want to do something to resolve conflict in the world and I feel compelled to change things for the better. Perhaps that change starts with me. When I let down my barriers and become better understood, I’m at peace with myself as well as those around me. Perhaps that’s the start of world peace?

What is it like to be at peace with yourself?

What’s available to you from this place of peace?

I coach people who are looking for peace – with themselves, in their relationships, in the workplace and in the world at large. My clients all share one thing in common. Although many of them do not know it when they first come to me, they are all bold, courageous and vulnerable. That’s where we connect on a deep level and I believe that’s where the peace begins – for us as individuals and for the world as a whole.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

No barriers to peace

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