Do you know how amazing you are?
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As a coach, one of the things I do is to hold up the mirror for people and show them who I see.
By this, I mean that I acknowledge my clients for how they show up in the world, the things they do and the impact they have on the world.
This is often uncomfortable for people the first time they experience it. After all, they are used to being told how to improve rather than how amazing they are!
At school, we focus on how children can do better, what they have yet to learn. We might tell them when they do something that is good like play the piano or score a goal in football. We rarely tell them that they are smart or beautiful or funny or happy, etc. If children say how good they are at something, they are told not to boast, not to brag. We’re not allowed to show other people how good we are at anything.
As adults in business, appraisals are intended to motivate employees. Too often they focus on where we can improve, how we can do a better job. I believe this is disempowering and causes us to focus on the negative things.
We forget how amazing we are!
One of the most difficult things to do is to think about ourselves positively. To say, I’m good at coaching. I’m funny. I’m eccentric. I’m playful. I’m intelligent. I’m honest. I’m a good friend. I’m loyal. And I’m squirming as I write those things! I absolutely know they are true for me and still it’s difficult to acknowledge them.
How well do people know you?
How much are you hiding your amazingness?
When we realise how amazing we are, our self-esteem improves. That allows us to release the constraints that hold us back and step into our full authenticity. The impact on ourselves and the world around us is so much greater.
Putting it into practice
- Write 2 sides of A4 (letter) paper of adjectives that describe you. Use only positive words.
- Celebrate your amazingness!
- Share 3 amazing things about you in the comments below… go on! Give it a go!
Know how amazing you are. Own it. Be it. Stop hiding your amazingness. The world needs you. Just as you are. No more. No less.
With love,
Jude. x
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8 Comments
September 25th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Amazing post Jude, thanks for sharing!
September 25th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Thanks Oscar for popping by and being inspired enough to comment.
September 25th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Nice post.
I’ve never been one for boasting, it’s entirely against my nature, but have always been one to let people know when they’ve done something well.
Even when noting a mistake of someone I’m training I’ll try to note the progress that’s been made. Positive reinforcement’s a very powerful tool.
Cheers,
Rod
September 25th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
My 3 Amazing Things:
1. Intelligent
2. Funny
3. Wise
Great post. I really needed this today ^_^
September 25th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Jude, I really loved this post because it is so true. People are either to full of themselves they can’t stop bragging (which might be a sign that they don’t feel good about themselves..) while others forget to see the good things.
I love your challenge to post 3 good things… I’m squirming trying to think them up too.
I work hard. I learn quickly and deductively. I am positive and encouraging.
That was hard… keep up the good work
September 25th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
@Rod, One thing I know about you from your post is that you care about other people and want to champion them. So go on, boast away. Acknowledge yourself for who you are and how amazing you are. We want to know you!
@Tamahome Intelligent, funny and wise. I like you already. Pleased to have you drop by.
@Blake Great qualities too. I acknowledge that you challenged yourself even though you found it hard. That means you are courageous too. And I acknowledge your foresight that people who brag are often not feeling good about themselves. Great to see you here.
September 25th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Great post Jude. You are so right on this one, and I know that I struggle with this. I think many of us spend too much time looking at what is “wrong” or where we need improvement and not enough thinking about how to capitalize on our strengths. That’s a better use of our energy. This applies to organizations too.
Thanks for the reminder!
September 26th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Ah, this is something I always forget since it’s far easier to shoot myself in the foot. Makes for easier target eh? But I’m improving little by little. I’ve amazing friends – most of them are online – who never fails to remind me I’m amazing, too.